To be a girl


To be a girl means dealing with a lot. An array of things that our male counterparts don’t have to.

We are taught from a young age that being a girl means being feminine. But what is feminine? Skirts, dresses, flowers, makeup, etc? What makes skirts feminine and shorts not? Why not combat boots instead of heels?

We’re taught to bite our tongues when we’re little. Cursing isn’t feminine, so we shouldn’t say fuck or shit. We should keep our legs crossed while we sit. We shouldn’t be sarcastic because that’s not attractive. We need to watch how we act and carry ourselves around the opposite sex because why would they want to date us otherwise?

I know there are exceptions to every rule. Not every girl wants to date a boy. Some girls date girls. Some girls don’t want to date at all. And yet the world keeps shoving men in our face. We’re taught that without a man, we are incomplete. It’s everywhere we look: in our movies, books and television. The notion of painful romance is normalized. The “I can’t survive without you” kind of love.

But to be a girl not only means dealing with a lot. To be a girl means fighting tooth and nail to know what it’s like to stand on your own. I’m in no way the poster child for this, I’m still learning but I think it’s nice for us girls to learn together.

I’m learning what it means to be okay on my own. I’ve yet to be successful with relationships and for the longest time I thought that meant there was something wrong with me. But it’s not me. I haven’t found the right person to be in love with or to love me. So right now I am my own right person.

I recently turned a corner in standing up for myself. I refuse to bite my tongue, sit down, bat my eyelashes and look pretty when someone hurts me. From this point forward, when someone hurts me, I will be cutting, I will be firm and I will stand up for me. I am my own right person and that person is a girl that may be a little insecure, but deserves being fought for nonetheless.

So, to all the other girls out there like me, who might not be completely confident with who they are – who sometimes feel pretty – who sometimes want to flick the world off and curse like a sailor with her friends – who sometimes just wants someone to kiss her and tell her she’s beautiful – who sometimes just wants to be alone: Fight for you.

Be your own right person. Or start learning how to be that person. It may take a long time and it may seem impossible. But no one else but you can make you whole. Whether you like boys or girls or no one at all – you are the only one that can make you whole.

So don’t let the world tell you to shut your mouth, sit still and smile because you’re a girl and you should be aware of how you come off to others.

No. Someone hurts you – you look them in the eye, bare your teeth when you grin and give them hell.


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